Written by
Arielle Box
I have read many books, web sites and brochures about who women are and how they should act and what their role is in life. Many of the things I read were very good, but I did not find anything that I totally agreed with, because it did not line up with what Yahweh told me.
SOPHIA OR SATAN?
I would like to start with Sophia (Holy Spirit), as she is our pure example of what a perfect wife and mother should be. Most people have not had the wonderful blessing of knowing her, but if you ever did I know that you will agree with my description of our Heavenly Mother. She has the most beautiful personality I have ever been around; soft, meek, humble, graceful, loving, kind, gentle and maybe even just a little bit shy. I’ll bet this is not what you were expecting, what you were expecting would be describing Satan, her sister. Satan was not submissive but full of rebellion and you can see where it led to; our pain filled planet. So we have Sophia (submitted wife) and Satan (fem. Lib. rebel), I guess the question for every woman is who are you going to be.
I will ask any woman who is truly trying to become a godly woman to ask for Sophia to reveal herself to you, and help you to be just like her. I did this, and it has changed my life. I have the most peace and joy and love that I have ever had. Knowing my Father saved me but then he introduced me to my Mother and she is perfecting me. You can read more about this on the truth about the godhead on our web site.
OUR ORDER
I believe that the most important thing to know is our order; the Bible says that Yahweh is the head of Yahshua, Yahshua is the head of man and man is the head of woman. Everything has an order, both in the world and in the heavens above. If we had stayed in our order in the first place, we would not be on this prison planet; so here, we must learn again our place and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that we will follow through willingly and faithfully. Maybe we will finally learn that, without Yahweh's perfect order, there is only chaos. If you don’t believe me look around - is there perfect peace and harmony singing in your ears, or do you see pain in other people’s eyes, maybe in your own?
There is more to understanding our order than meets the eye; submission is a very big word of which many women don't even know the meaning of. A submissive wife doesn't lead but follows. She She doesn't argue or contradict, she doesn't nag or raise her voice towards her husband.
Another important factor to remember is that you are NOT required or expected to be submissive to any and every man, only the man that God has set over you. If you are married this will be your husband, if not this man will most likely be your Dad, a big brother or your Preacher.
IS HE THE ONE?
Before you even get married, you need to know for sure the one you are marrying is the one Yahweh chose. I believe that if you are married to a man that Yahweh did not choose, you are living in adultery. True marriage only exists if it is ordained by God not just by the state. Once you are married to your God-chosen husband, your place as a wife is right next to your husband. There for him, to cater to his every whim, not as a slave or to be treated like a child, but as his loving wife who is always there for him, with whom he can share every thought, dream and worry. He knows she is not there to be his boss; she will not knock his ideas or make fun or light of anything he has to say. She is the soft, kind, gentle and humble side of him. She is not any less important in Yahweh's kingdom, but her role is different. It takes a dedicated, working team to get any job done whether it be an army in battle, a business, a baseball game or a marriage. If someone is not in their place, it will fail.
Many of the problems with the children today are caused by disorder in the home. I believe that 90% of our children and teenager’s rebellions are because the father and mother are not in the order that Yahweh commanded them to be in. In many cases they are being raised by single parents. Children must have the masculine as well as the feminine role models in their life or they will turn to rebellion while seeking their places in life. We must understand how important what we do is, not just to the perfecting of our spirits, but to those around us.
I have made a list of what I believe are the most important rules that being a good wife requires:
1. Know that you are very important
Do not ever let Satan belittle you or your role. You must understand how important you are to your husband, your children and to Yahweh. The Bible says, "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband". A wife/mother’s job should be taken with great pride. If you are in your place, then you will be the most important and loved person in the world to your family. If you are not, however, you can be the greatest curse, as the Bible also says, "She that maketh ashamed is rottenness in her husband's bones".
2. Do not listen to Satan’s lies.
Satan’s number one tool is to tell us lies about one another. Listening to these lies only brings disharmony, distrust and eventually a fight, resulting in wounds to us and our loved ones. Don't ever base anything on assumptions, know your facts before taking anything seriously. Women are very emotional beings and anything and everything can get blown up into somehting it's not. We must remember this.
3. Always talk things out
Doing this saves a lot of problems. Remember to always come to him in a humble spirit, but let him know your feelings. If he has done or said something that hurt your feelings, tell him about it; in most cases, it was a misunderstanding and even if it wasn’t, the tiff will be fixed much quicker by talking it out. Again, remember to come in a gentle, soft, meek spirit; coming to him in anger, raising your voice or bossing him around will only make it worse. If you are quite angry before your talk, go somewhere and talk to your maker about the problem. It might even help to write it down in a letter and then read it to yourself, sometimes you can get a better praspective on things.
4. Stay in Your Place
He is your head, you are not his. This is a big problem in a lot of present day families. Women usurp their husband’s positions and this crushes the man’s spirit and only pollutes your own. Yahweh gave men the special ability and gift to lead his flock; let him do his job and you do yours. If you have a complaint refer to rule #3, if this does not help, leave it alone and go to Yahweh in prayer; maybe you have misunderstood the situation. Acknowledge the possibility that you could be wrong and be willing to change your view. Ask God to give you a clear picture on the situation. If your husband is wrong, Yahweh is well capable of getting a hold of him without your assistance. Your interference will only make things worse.
5. Never deprive your husband in any way
Remember that you are there for him and you must never punish your husband (it is not your job) in any way, especially by not being there for him when he needs you. He needs your love both spiritually and physically. He must always know that he can rely on you no matter what, to be there for his needs. I know that this can be hard; especially if you have children, but try your best and he will understand on those times when you are needed elsewhere. Just remember him and make it up to him later.
6. Don’t let Satan steal your love
This can be done by obeying rule #2. Discontentment and lies are the keys here; throw away all youthful dreams and your own ideas of what your life should have been - remember it is not your life; it is Yahweh's life and your husband’s. If you have dedicated your life to them, than your life is in their hands. Satan loves to destroy marriages and this is done by planting those little seeds of discontent. Spend a lot of time before your maker and ask him to take out all of those seeds, because I assure you, there are some in there; kill them before they bloom into sin and pain. Most of these started as a childhood dream of life and once you realize you do not have it, discontentment sets in. Yahweh has chosen the life that is best for the perfecting of your spirit; it is not His fault if you have made mistakes.
7. Don’t judge your husband
Accept him for who he is, you must love him as the man he is. Since this is an imperfect world right now, there is not a perfect person, everyone here has imperfections. However, since Satan loves to point out all the flaws in your husband try this and see if it helps: make two lists, write down his good points on one and his bad points on the other. When you are done, look at the bad list first realize that yes, these are faults that he does have but that Gos is well aware of them. After observing and forgiving him for these itmes burn the paper. Never even let the things you wrote enter your mind again; you saw them once, now realize that these are things that Yahweh is trying to fix in your husband; there is nothing that you can do about it, therefore why think about them? Keep the good list, dwell on the best points of your husband, the things you really love about him and always look for more things to put on your good list. I assure you that with this attitude, your list will grow bigger and bigger and so will your love. Ask Yahweh to give you a positive view on things and this will also help. Also, remember that you are not perfect either remember your flaws and ask Yahweh to help you with them.
When I say flaws I am not speaking of men who are abusive; if you are in an abusive situation you need to find help immediately.
For The All-About-Looks Woman
One of the books that I read suggested doing this and I thought it might help someone. She says to look in the mirror at yourself and examine your body, tell yourself that you accept every stretch mark, every wrinkle and every fat roll as you; they do not hinder your wifely duties and bitterness over it is only stupid and will hinder you. It is good to want to look nice for your husband, and to make adjustments for that is okay, but do not be obsessive with your looks. You have more important things to worry about. She says that you cannot truly accept someone else as they are until you have accepted yourself, and to some degree this is true. If you are condemned over sin, then go pray through and don’t do it again, but remember rule #2 and don’t let Satan tell you lies about yourself. It mostly boils down to the mind battle. Everyone has this battle, some are not fighting it, but everyone has it. Always be aware of what is entering into your thought life, you will be amazed at how much trouble you will filter out by keeping watch. If you are one of those who is absessed with being beautiful; you need to remember that Satan was lifted by her beauty. Vain thoughts only lead to destruction.
For The “I’m The Boss” Woman
This type of woman will have the hardest problem fulfilling her place, but she will be the one who will need this message the most. The Fem. Lib. movement has destroyed many good women. If you are this type of woman, I congratulate you for making a start at achieving true womanhood. Now for the battle plan; first of all, repent for every time you have fought with, resented, were rebellious against or dishonored your husband. Then anoint yourself with oil and bind the Fem. Lib. spirits from yourself, ask Yahweh to help you and give you a humble, soft, meek spirit. Remember that the Bible does command wives to submit to their husband. It also says to obey your husband in the Lord. This means you must submit yourself to him completely; so, unless he is asking you to sin, you must obey. You will have a battle on your hands but you can do it. You must come to the place that, you not only don’t talk back when you don’t agree, but you don’t let that white, hot angry feeling come into your chest. If you do, immediately find a place to pray until Yahweh has helped you gain control of yourself. Then you can go softly to your husband and have a submissive talk with him. Ask Yahweh to give you a vision of what a true woman should be and then ask him to help you become that person. It will help to get your vision of Sophia, and to remember Satan's failures; you know she failed when trying to be the boss.
For The Grumpy Woman
It is very hard to do the house work, take care of the children, do the cooking, help your husband and keep a sweet, soft-mannered attitude. You tend to yell at the children, throw things around and be irritable. Believe me, it is a lot easier to get everything done if you keep an optimistic attitude. Try to see something good in everything around you; think positive. Before each morning starts, ask the Lord to help you that day. Don’t think about everything you must do at once; it helps to have some sort of a daily ritual. For some women, it helps to write their duties down for the day starting with the most important and ending with the least important. Try to get a little time every day for yourself. I take an hour at night, after the children are asleep, to take my bath; it really does help!
For The "Perfect" Woman
First of all, none of us is perfect; if you were you would not be here. Everyone has room to grow and has imperfections to overcome. So be sure you don’t walk around with your nose in the air looking down on everyone else. It is not becoming at all for a woman of Yahweh to be self-righteous. The Bible says to get the log out of your own eye before you point out the splinter in your brother's (or sister's) eye. Be a peacemaker and leave the judging to Yahweh where it belongs.
For The Worrier
A lot of women have this problem and it only burdens your days. Take your worries to Yahweh and let him worry about them; after all, is there anything you can do about them? Then why let them ruin your day? Remember that all things happen for a reason, just leave it in Yahweh's hands. You can also write them all down on a paper and take it to your husband. A lot of the time Satan blows things way out of proportion and simply talking them out helps you see this. The Bible says if there be any good thing, think on this; there is bound to be something good you can think about. Women have a need to talk things out; it can be your husband or a sister in the Lord, but talk out your problems to someone. This can also help with getting the daily duties done. Somehow, if you hear yourself talking about your plan, it makes it easier to get it done and takes away unnecessary worries. I don’t know why this helps so much, but it does.
For The Girl-Like Woman
A woman who acts as though she is a child or teenager normally has one of two things wrong; she was either abused as a child, or she wants to be a teenager without any responsibility. The abused woman has many wounds and distrusts; this can and will interfere with your relationship between yourself and your husband and also God. You have to talk these problems out with someone - a sister or your husband. You must cry out your pain and ask God to heal your wounds. I’m sure that there will be things that you are ashamed of that you will need to repent of; even a child can make extreme mistakes in extreme circumstances. Believe me, you will feel like a new person when you open the door to your secret place and empty the room to reveal your true self. Be careful of your mood swings while this is going on; remember that you are not always thinking rationally at the times you are confessing your heart.
For the teenager-at-heart, all that I can say is grow up; you are a married woman and you need to act like it. Pray and ask Yahweh to take out the evil desires in your heart and to help you become the woman you are supposed to be. It is very important that you take these thoughts and feelings completely out of your heart because they will end in tears for you and all those that love you if you don't. Search your heart and ask Yahweh to help you to see what has happened in your life that has caused these feelings. Just remember that, whatever your problem is, there is not anything that you and Yahweh can’t handle, except an untruthful heart unwilling to change.
Women’s Dress
This I believe is personal; you need to go by your convictions. Ask your husband what he would like your dress to be. What you wear all depends on your heart; a slinky skirt can be just as ungodly as a tight pair of pants.. When you get dressed in the morning, ask yourself why you are wearing that item. If there is any desire that you know is wrong, throw that garment away.
All that God requires is modesty; the rest of it is your personal convictions.
Your Children
Children are a blessing from Yahweh! It is our responsibility to raise them in the light of the Lord and who they become is all up to us. So you can see how important it is to teach them the truth, to teach them self control, and as the Bible says, to honor their father and mother. You need to talk with your husband about the rules you will laydown for them, so that you are both doing the same thing It is extremely important that you both agree on everything you tell them. If there is a disagreement, go to your husband in private; don’t ever talk out disagreements in front of the children. Mommy and Daddy should always be united in the children’s eyes.
The Bad Housekeeper
Keeping the house neat and tidy can be a chore especially if you have a lot of children- (I know, I have 5) but it is necessary. A clean house can help everyone’s mood. When things are messy and dirty it brings a cloud of irritability and a sense of filth. Some women have problems with this, but like I said before, talking your day out in the morning sometimes helps women. Men think things out and women talk them out.
It is very important to have some kind of organization. Get a friend over to help you for a couple of days and start with getting everything out of the house that you are not using. This will take out the clutter. Then give everything in the house a place. This will make your daily cleaning much easier; but don’t ever go more than two days without cleaning or you will have an overwhelming mess to deal with. You can do it! Ask Sophia to help you, She will.
As a woman you have a lot of responsibility, but your reward is wonderful! As the Bible says, "A virtuous woman who can find, her price is far above rubies". With the help of our maker, we can be one of those special women. A lot of worldly women will be resentful of you and do their best to make you look bad, belittle you and hate you because they know you are what they should be. Don’t let them intimidate you in any way, just thank Yahweh that he saved you from a life of fear.
I hope these things will help you on your path. It is what has worked for me; Yahweh has changed me into someone totally different than I was. The Lord lifted me from my life of horror, after I finally saw the filth I was living in. I asked Him to make me into what He wanted me to be. Now I am the proud wife of the best man in the world, my soul mate. We are going back home together, as Yahweh has shown us what we have awaiting our return. There is beauty beyond words, and an overwhelming love around every unfallen spirit that dwells in the heavens. There is so much to look forward to, not only in this life but also in the life to come. All that you have to do is faithfully fulfill your calling, whatever that may be.
Proverbs 31:30
"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised."
These are some books that may be of help:
“Fascinating Womanhood” by Helen Adeline
This is a very good book and I agree with it except for the part on childlikeness, I believe a woman should act like a woman, not a child. She also has a website at fascinatingwomanhood.net
“The Total Woman” by Maribel Morgan
This book is very helpful with housekeeping.
